Archives by: Philip Campbell

Skit about Timothy

What’s My Name?

[Four contestants are sitting facing the audience]

Welcome to another edition of “What’s My Name”. We welcome our four lucky contestants chosen randomly from the audience.

Contestant number one is a computer systems consultant. In his spare time he writes detective stories.
Contestant number two is a nuclear physicist. She recently was called to the White House and honored by the President for the role she has taken in organizing environmental clean up in her community.
Contestant number four is a brain surgeon. He loves parachuting, rock climbing, scuba diving, and hang gliding. He recently designed and built his own private airplane.

[Contestant three signals toward herself, to get the Moderator’s attention]

Oh, yes, Contestant number three recently began training to be an amateur wrestler. Her main goal in life is to one day have her name in the telephone book.

And of course we welcome our special guest Mr. X! As you know, each week we bring out a special guest, the identify of whom the contestants must guess. We will now let you the studio audience in on our little secret. Just who is our special Mr. X this week?

[Mr. X, comes in from side door and sits behind the contestants where they cannot see him.] [Show large name card to audience: Timothy, the able assistant of Paul the apostle]

OK, let’s get started.

Each of our contestants will now begin asking questions of Mr. X. If one of our contestants thinks he or she knows the true identify of Mr. X, then he or she can use their turn to ask the identity.

Contestant number one, what is your question?

Contestant one: Have you ever been on TV?

Mr. X: What is TV?

Contestant two: What is your life theme?

Mr. X: “The things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others.”

Contestant three [anxiously appearing to think s/he has already figured out who Mr. X is]: “I know, I know, I know, aren’t you that famous trial lawyer guy who always gives the great speeches before the jury? Oh, I can’t remember your name, but I’m sure it’s you!

Mr. X: No, I’m sorry, that’s not me.

[Contestant three looks very disappointed]

Contestant four: When were you born?

Mr. X: Well, my mother did not keep great records, but I figure I was born about the year 30.

Contestant one: Oh, so you were born in 1930.

Mr. X: No, I don’t know what you mean by the 19. I was born in 30, just plain 30.

Contestant three: Oh, I know, I know, I know, you’re that really old guy who never seems to look older. Oh I know exactly who you are. Oh, oh, what’s your name? The oldest man who ever lived: Methu-mellowed-out, or something like that.

Mr. X: No, I’m so sorry, but Methuselah lived a long time before me. But you are heading in the right direction.

Moderator: Now, contestant three, you must control yourself and wait for your turn. OK. Contestant two, it is your turn.

Contestant two: What’s your job?

Mr. X: Well, you could call me a combination fix-it man, trainer and equipper.

Contestant three: Oh, I know, I know, I know. You’re one of those guys who works in the pit stop at the race track, who can change a tire in about 3 seconds. How do you do that anyway?

Mr. X: What’s a pit stop? I’m sorry, I don’t think that I can fix your problem in 3 seconds. However if you do tire, then I can encourage you like my teacher and mentor encourages me to keep going even when things get tough.

Contestant four: Who is your teacher and mentor?

Mr. X: His name is Paul.

Contestant one: Does you teacher give you a lot of exams? Do you have to sit and listen to his lectures?

Mr. X: Well, I’ve found that just by traveling around with him I run into plenty of tests. He teaches me as we go about our work. And he has written me a couple of letters giving me some great advice.

Contestant two: What kind of advice has this Paul given you?

Mr. X: Oh, lots of it. One time in a letter to me he wrote: “Run from anything that stimulates youthful lust. Follow anything that makes you want to do right. Pursue faith and love and peace, and enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.”

Contestant three: So, you go around preaching and teaching. I bet that brings you a lot of fame and honor. How does it feel to have everyone respecting you so much? Are you in it for the glory?

Mr. X: Well, let me tell you what Paul told me about what to expect from my kind of work:
“A time is coming when people will no longer listen to right teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever they want to hear. They will reject the truth and follow strange myths. But you should keep a clear mind in every situation. Don’t be afraid of suffering for the Lord.”

Contestant four: Are you telling me you have suffered? What has happened to you?

Mr. X: Well, I’ve been arrested..

Contestant three: “I know, I know, I know, you are that guy who ran the big company and sold all your stock because you had inside information. Oh, I can’t remember your name, but I’m sure it’s you!

Mr. X: I’ve never sold stock. I’ve never even raised any sheep or cattle.

Contestant one: What were you arrested for?

Mr. X: For preaching the Good News of salvation through Jesus Christ.

Contestant two: You called yourself a “fix-it” man. Why do you call yourself that?

Mr. X: Well, several times when there were major problems in churches, my mentor Paul sent me to straighten out the problems.

Contestant two (again): I just have a follow-up question. You sound quite young to be given so much responsibility. Have you ever felt that you are not old enough to do all that?

Mr. X: My mentor, Paul, wrote to me about that in one of his letters. He said: “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.” Age is not the key. We can be an example to others no matter how old we are.

Contestant three: OK, OK, let me get this straight. You lived a long, long time ago. You went around with a man named Paul and taught people about Jesus. This Paul fellow taught you and sent you to fix all the hardest problems. You got hassled in your work and even arrested. How am I doing?

Mr. X: So far, so good.

Contestant three: I think I have it figured out. You are that guy that was on that old episode of Deep Space Nine who went back in time and taught the people all about the future so then they were able to mind-control their neighbors which threw off the balance of power and eventually led to the great battle of the Centaurs. Oh, I know who you are. Oh, oh, what’s your name? I just had it!

Moderator: I’m sorry contestants, but our time is up. So, I’ll introduce you to our special guest Mr. X, who is none other than Timothy, the able assistant of Paul the Apostle.

Contestant Three: Oh, I knew it. I knew it. His name was right on the tip of my tongue!

Read more